super henry taking flight
noah mastering tummytime
big sister 2
Thursday, August 28, 2008
you turned two months old this week (yes, i am a couple of days late... but i didn’t even do this for the older kids...) you are our “unexpected blessing”, our incredible gift, my little live-in guru and buddha baby... reminding me of what’s really important in this world. you got me to stop working so much, slow down, take a breath, and completely focus on our family this summer. there are times that i am disappointed that we didn’t fill our summer with more gardening, adventures, camping trips, etc-- but i have to remember, there’s time for that. this summer you are a newborn and simply being with you is enough. our days go by lazily in a rhythm of nursing, burping, cuddling, diaper changing, “flirting”, stretching, listening to music, doing chores, playing with the big kids. just everyday stuff, but you are happy, and that is enough.
this month your hair stopped falling out and the softest possible little crew cut started to appear. you’ve grown to over 14 pounds. your rash has completely disappeared, your tummy seems less upset, and your shoulder no longer seems to bother you at all. you have grown solid and sturdy, and i can support you around your ribcage in a sitting position and you can hold up your head, wobbly, but stable. you’ve started pushing off my lap with your legs into a standing position and seem very proud and joyful about it. you’re practicing tummy time and very determined about it. you make the sweetest little grunting sounds when it gets too tiring or frustrating. i can lift you up like an airplane and you’ll lift your head and look around. best of all, you started really smiling. your face simply lights up, your nose crinkles, your dimple deepens, and your eyes... just melt my heart. you’ve recently added sound effects, little goos and coos and ahhs that sound like you are so filled with glee you have to let some out in these little sounds. it’s really too much... and never fails to center me.
the big kids absolutely adore you. they can’t keep their hands off you, really. “oh noah baby...” you let them hold you, albeit briefly, but aren’t too sure of them yet-- at least about them holding you. but in the past couple weeks, you have really seemed to notice them and our dog, Bayli, and give them smiles. thank you for that-- it makes them so happy and proud to “get a smile” from you.
i’ve left you a couple times this past month. first, we took you to grammie’s and we went on to fernhill park (two blocks away) to give L & M some undivided attention. they missed you right away and it started sprinkling, so we were back after only 45 minutes or so. grammie held you the whole time, and gave you your first bottle. you did wonderfully. the second time i left for a bit longer to go get a massage from kristy and you stayed home with daddy and the big kids. i think they took turns feeding you that time. but most of the time, i am with you. usually holding or wearing you, though you are getting heavy and i have to take more breaks. you like laying down and stretching out, watching the mobile if we’re home, or watching the trees if we’re out and about. last weekend we had our first big adventure together-- we flew to CA to see my girlfriends/your aunties at the american river. you laid naked on the beach and listened to the river rushing by, and got doted on by the older kids. (Aliveah, Moorea, and Addie put you in their dollie stroller and pushed you around and you were such a good sport!)
you sleep well. again, for this, i thank you. really. thank you very much. you nurse and nap and nurse and nap from about 6-10 pm, then you’ll sleep until 4 or 5, nurse, and back to sleep until about 6:30-7:30. then i feed you again and hand you to daddy. you two enjoy your morning time together, i’ll have to have him tell you about that. and he brings you back to me when you’re hungry again (between 8 and 9). i get up with you, have some coffee, and check my email with you on the nursing pillow or on my shoulder-- or we sit on the couch with my feet propped up on the coffee table and you reclined on my thighs while we make faces at each other, coo, and “flirt”. then you fall back to sleep on my left shoulder for your morning nap. that’s where you are now. you rarely fuss anymore-- there’s really nothing that milk, naked time/new diaper, or swaddled/cuddled in the pouch time, or a nap won’t fix for you. and i can’t stop kissing your cheek, the top of your head, your neck, your belly, your toes, your waddle. and i can’t begin to describe your sweet, milky new baby smell.
so many words, so many photos, and still-- i can’t seem to capture the magic of this time with you. just know that i love you, bubbi-- and am so glad you’ve joined us. my heart has grown at least three sizes in the past two months.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
i'm working really hard on de-crabbifying myself. i love my life, really i do, and i have the best intentions about being a mindful and fully present parent... but i have some issues with maintaining my centered-ness when the troops are restless. it has been challenging for me being a stay-at-home mom this summer-- as in a whole lot of together time. again, love them to pieces, and they make me loco sometimes... kwim?
i find that the worst times come when we stay in the house all day. if there's no where to be at a certain time, i relish the leisureliness of it (it's so different from our pre-noah life where the majority of our mornings, make that our days, were a frenzied and chaotic rush to eat breakfast-pack lunch-drop L off-drop M off-walk dog-shower-get to work-treat patients-do paperwork until the last possible second-pick him up-pick her up- eat dinner-bath-stories-bed.... repeat ad nauseum... ) so now, when there's no "agenda" i am quite content to hang out at home-- though i get caught up in cleaning, projects, "putzing"-- then suddenly it's 4:30, we're all tired and stir crazy, and then it seems impossible to get our act together to leave the house. And despite the fact that I've been cleaning all freakin' day, the house still isn't clean... and I feel like a hamster on a wheel, and why can't i just relax??? it's such a delicate balance-- not wanting to live in a sty, but also wanting to actually enjoy my children, instead of just cleaning up after them all the time. I think the answer is finally sinking in... get. out. of. the. house. duh...
so yesterday and today were good days. not b/c i "got a lot done", but because we were out and about, and for the most part, all getting along. noah had a pediatrician appt yesterday morning at 10:30 and I actually arrived dressed decently, showered, all three kids in tow, insurance card and stocked diaper bag in hand, and only 9 minutes late. WOO HOO! the big kids were pleasant and cooperative, noah "passed" his exam famously.
we went home for a quick, healthy lunch,
then off to the park for the afternoon. no timeline. just fun in the fountain, some new friends, monkey bars, coloring, and snacks.
today we had a good bfast, leisurely morning, then out for errands and fun (I mixed a little toy shopping in with the errands and said yes to mcdonalds playland for about the third time ever in their lives-- b/c burgerville drive-thru is much more efficient, sustainable and healthy, right?-- and also b/c it was way too freakin' hot to be outside and they needed to play). There was one point at the end of the day when they started to get a little crazy in the checkout line at Target (I had to buy a new mop and a breastpump-- we've been trying not to buy anything new all summer but I had to break down today b/c those are two things I am unwilling to buy off craigslist or at goodwill...), and I simply took a deep breath and said, "I really don't want to get crabby with you or lose my patience right now. I really need you to listen to me..." and they did. :)
Horray for the good days. I promise to share a not-so-good day soon, too. I don't want this to be a sunshine-and-roses type of blog. I want it to be real. I have no idea who's reading, and will definitely stop way short of baring my soul here, but I do want to write more down and hope keeping this blog will encourage me to do that. I have tons of pictures of my big kids, but relatively little in writing. I definitely lack confidence in my ability to capture it all, to explain it in words. I'm really struggling with that with Noah right now, I mean, how many different ways can you write, "He's just so incredibly yummy"? I read these incredible blog posts and columns and get intimidated-- I'll never be Catherine Newman or Black Hockey Jesus-- and that almost makes me want to say "why bother". But I'm going to try to find my writing voice and write down what I can, so that my kiddos will have more to look at than just pictures someday.
So, if you're there, stay tuned. I hope to get more interesting as the days and weeks go on (or at least until I go back to work...)
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
captured smile #1, aka mama needs a new flash because natural light doesn't always cut it and the built in fill flash is too harsh... but i couldn't not include this one because he's too darn cute...
and here's #2, with flash...
and this one is simply called "dreamy":
and here's #2, with flash...
and this one is simply called "dreamy":
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
at six and a half weeks old, noah has gained 4 full pounds. he weighed 13# 2oz yesterday when we went to see our midwife, jen (who now has a beautiful new baby of her own). we are finding our groove as a family of five, and I'm no longer afraid to tell all three children out into the world by myself-- though it doesn't always go quite as smoothly as I would like. for example, today when we waited a wee bit too long to eat and stayed at the park a bit too long, we all got crabby, mariah got her hand slammed in the door (accidentally) and later when I said no to "a little bit of tv" at grammie's house she told me she didn't want me to be her mom anymore... but i digress.
we are loving the summertime and relishing the sunshine like true portlanders. check out some of our outings here. and tonight we ate out back-- dan made steaks on the grill with tator tots and corn on the cob, and popsicles for dessert. then we all sat on the front lawn goofing around, wrestling in the grass, and trying to get the baby to smile... simple pleasures...
for the most part, the big kids are still completely enamoured with our little bubbi. they want to hold him and kiss him and squeeze him constantly, and are quick to try and comfort him when he's fussing. and bubbi seems to be working through his early discomforts a bit-- the bump where his clavicle fractured is going down and he's moving his arm and neck freely. he seems to have a bit of reflux, but nothing major. he loves being held, and i'm grateful to savvy for lending me her babyhawk because that seems to be working the best for us right now. we've done some mama-baby yoga together, and today was our first "mamalates" class. my back is really bothering me, and reminding me why it's so important for new mamas to get chiropractic care (thanks, becky, korin and arah!) and massage! i feel so blessed to know such amazing women in our community that serve mamas like me. we've been so well taken care of during our babymoon-- the meals and other general support have sustained us in so many ways....
the other big news is that baby noah has started smiling. full-blown face-lighting-up, nose-crinkling, dimple-exposing, eye-twinkling, heart-melting smiles... there is simply nothing quite like it in this world. i haven't quite captured one on "film" (it sounds better than "compact flash card") yet, but when I do, look here first :)
that's all for now. i'm off to eat another popsicle and watch the season finale of "damages", and keep cuddling with the chunkilicious baby on my chest.