5 months

11.26.08

Dear Noah bear,

It’s Thanksgiving Day and you turned 5 months old yesterday. You have become so active this past month-- rolling easily and covering lots of ground, sitting up completely on your own, reaching for things and people, finding your voice, and learning to really jump around on your chubby little legs... I’ll lay you down on your new grammie blanket in the middle of the floor, look away for a minute and then find you 6 feet away, trying to chew on the shoe bin, the front door curtain or the couch cover. I can sit you up with a little padding underneath you and know you’re pretty steady there-- you stay sitting for 5 minutes or more. I love hearing you burble and coo and giggle and squeal. You have so much to say, and so many people around you ready to listen. We’re still together pretty constantly. You come to work with me on Monday mornings, Tuesday afternoons, and Wednesday mornings, we spend Thursdays with Mariah, and you spend Fridays with Grammie. She LOVES her time with you. I often come in to find you asleep on her chest, sitting in the rocker in the front room (that’s where I am now, you’re cuddled up with Daddy, Mariah and Levi in bed). You interact with us and the world in new and different ways now-- I’ve watched as you have reached for Bayli and Jay and given them your first pets, sat in your carseat and noticed the rain coming down on the window, reached out to touch my face while you nursed, and started leaning away from us and reaching for someone else (me, Daddy or Grammie) to hold you. You’re starting to have your own opinions about things and learning to express it. It’s absolutely fascinating to see you making these discoveries.

This was a very big month in the history of the world we live in. On November 4th, Barack Obama was elected the 44th President of the United States. It was a long and difficult election, and we were so elated to see such an inspiring, intelligent, and passionate man chosen to lead our nation. It’s been a tough few years for America for a lot of reasons, and we really need someone with the vision and power to turn things around so that you can grow up in a safe, secure, and abundant world. While you were in my belly the economy began to take a dive. Daddy had to change jobs more than once and our income took a huge hit. Grammie’s old house had been sitting on the market for months. I had been reading about the candidates and very interested in this election for many years now. I first heard of Barack Obama from your Grandad right before he died back in 2006. He was in the hospital and we were having one of our last real conversations. Your Grandad loved watching all the news shows and was always well informed. I asked him who he’d like to see win the 2008 election, and he whispered and joked... “A really good democrat, if I could only find one. But I can’t find one anywhere!” (he was a republican, but was fed up with GW Bush). But he went on to say that I should Obama was one to watch-- Grandad was impressed by Obama’s speech at the 2004 DNC and thought he would become a major political figure. I hoped Hillary Clinton would run, and she did. I like her, and would have liked to see a woman elected president (I hope that by the time you are my age there will have been at least one!). But there is something really special about Obama. A certain spark inside of him that has ignited a powerful movement in our country. He has brought together people from all different backgrounds and united us in a common goal. I saw this video in the spring of this year, and then read up on his positions, and made my decision. Grammie was a Hillary supporter. We all watched closely through the primary battle. In May, Obama came to Portland the day after Amanda and her kids arrived. It was over 90 degrees, and I got Levi, Mariah, Amanda, Forest, Markayla and Eme all to go downtown to see him. We took the bus and the MAX train. Amanda and I were both 9 months pregnant and had 5 kids running around-- what a sight we were! It was an amazing day. We didn’t actually see him, but we did get close enough to hear his voice and see the crowd. You can see the video of that day here. I think that was his largest crowd to date-- he called it his “most spectacular” crowd! Right before you born, I read this article about how “everything is seemingly spinning out of control” and I feared for the world that my baby was about to enter. I donated to the Obama campaign and did what I could to support the movement. It was a long wait-- but election day finally came and we went into it looking good. It was a beautiful autumn day. We drove down Ainsworth Street, lined with brilliantly changing trees-- the sun was illuminating the varigated leaves against the backdrop of rain clouds-- and I couldn’t help thinking, “Change is in the air”. I was overjoyed when they called the election for him and Daddy, Levi, Mariah, you and I all cuddled together on the couch and watched his acceptance speech. Wow. What an awesome time you chose to come into the world!

The weekend after the election you and I took off on our first real road trip. We went down to Bend to visit Auntie Chelle and baby Ruby. It was fabulous! You were amazingly content in the car and slept most of the way. It was so fun seeing my friend of over 30 years (!) and getting to share mamahood with her. We built a fire, ate lots of chinese food and chocolate, cuddled and nursed the two of you, and chatted about everything under the sun. And, as you might imagine, there were lots and lots of photos taken!

We also had a weekend getaway to Seattle with Grammie to visit our Aunt Kay and cousins Cara and Renee. Cara lives there with her husband Ash, and they just found out they are having a baby in June (due the day before your birthday!). Kay was married to Grammie’s older brother Clayton who was a wonderful man that I wish I had known better, and wish you had gotten to meet. He died way too soon, when I was 10 years old. Aunt Kay lives in Michigan with our cousin Troy and his family. Renee lives in Las Vegas and is a craps dealer. I hadn’t seen her since I was 11! They all loved getting to meet you. We took the bus down to Pike Place and explored. You rode facing out in my wrap and took in all the sights, sounds and smells-- then I turned you around (facing in) and you fell asleep instantly. Back at the apartment you kept us all entertained with your new sounds and antics.

At home, we’ve been busy moving the house around-- L&M’s room has become my office/studio, the “green” (guest) room upstairs is becoming L’s room, and my “old” studio is becoming M’s room. Matt and Eric from Confluence Design/Build are helping us renovate the stairway and hall and making it safer for you guys to be up there. The house is in shambles at the moment! But it will all be worth it. I have a lot of stuff to go through and “decluttering” to do.

Today we celebrated Thanksgiving at Grammie’s house with Steve, Julianne, Ariadne, Ian, and Phaedra. We have so much to be thankful for . I can’t tell you enough what a blessing you have been in our lives. In some ways, at the time you were conceived, my life felt like it was “spinning out of control” and I couldn’t imagine having another baby to take care of in addition to all my other responsibilities. But, though I didn’t know it, you were exactly what I needed to turn things around and remind me what’s really important. Simply holding you is all I need to center myself again. I still don’t feel like I’m finding the words to explain this to you-- this buddha-ness of you-- but I don’t know how else to say it. I love you “after infinity” (as Mariah likes to say these days) and am so glad you’re here.

Always,
Mama