one month

dear noah,
you are one month old today. you have been my constant companion since the minute you were born-- i haven’t left the house without you once. you spend most of your time in my arms, or one of my many baby-wearing carriers-- though you’ve also been held quite a bit by daddy, grammie, levi, mariah, and the many people who have come to visit you this month. you are very content-- except when you’re not, in which case you don’t hesitate to let us know. you can get really really mad, and loud, and make some awfully grumpy faces. but most of the time a little milk, a big burp, a clean diaper, or a good rest does the trick. mostly you love being on someone’s chest, with your ear near their heart. you also love laying on daddy’s chest while he hums, sings, and chants really low sounds. right now you’re curled up on my chest while i type. i’m propped up on the story pillow in the “big, big bed” and you’re still small enough to rest there with your legs tucked up underneath you (like a little “ball of noah”) and fit above my computer that’s resting on my legs. you are getting big really fast though. you’ve gained over two pounds already since you were born. i keep leaning down and kissing your head, running my cheek over your silky, balding head. listening to your soft breathing and rubbing your back. you are an awesome little cuddler and sleep every night in the crook of my arm. i’ve taken to calling you “bubbi”-- i hope you don’t mind.

you are an incredibly strong little guy. your clavicle got fractured during your birth, and i think it’s bothered you a bit, but it certainly hasn’t stopped you from moving your arms and neck around, or lifting your head. your neck control is amazing and started at only four days old. you’ve been busying healing and we’ve worked well together on that. i’ve been giving you treatments three or four times a week: massage, craniosacral, and chiropractic-- plus some herbs and homeopathic remedies to support your healing. these past few days you’ve seemed pretty darned comfortable, sleeping really soundly and contentedly for long stretches (up to 5 or 6 hours). you had a little rough patch there a couple of weeks ago. your body was covered in some sort of rash (prickly heat? reaction to the olive oil i was massaging you with?), i think your shoulder and your tummy were bothering you a bit, and you were growing really fast... so you had some extra fussy times. but you seem to have worked through a lot of that and you’re pretty easygoing these days.

all of us love you so deeply already. levi and mariah can’t seem to stop kissing you and holding you and squeezing you. “oh Noah, you’re such a good baby...” (cute baby, sweet baby, etc) they are constantly talking to you like this and singing to you and holding your hands. on our first road trip your carseat was in the middle and they couldn’t seem to keep their hands off your face. “stop messing with him,” i told them. “oh mama,” mariah said, “we’re just loving on him!”

you have been such an incredible gift to us in so many ways i don’t know how to explain. i feel like you are my buddha baby. our life has been pretty crazy and chaotic for a long time, and there were no signs that was going to change, slow down, or smooth out anytime soon. we were not expecting to have another baby, and learning that you were coming into our lives was quite a shock. i was scared, and couldn’t imagine how it would work, but i also knew that somehow we would find a way. your upcoming arrival got me to slow down, take time off of work, re-focus my energy on our home and our family, take care of my body and my spirit and re-center myself, and spend more time with L & M. then when you arrived it all suddenly made sense. of course you were meant to be here with us. on some level i knew it all along.

sleep tight, sweet bubbi. i love you more than you’ll ever know.
always,
mama